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When you decide to stop being a stay at home parent and go back to having a full time job outside the home, you might experience a combination of various feelings about this large change. For example, you might experience anxiety about having to change certain routines and about leaving your child in order to go to work.
Parents returning to work after taking care of their children might have found a job after a few years of staying at home with their children. Other men and women might be returning to work after a sabbatical. Many parents decide to return to work for personal reasons or monetary reasons. Whatever the reason you have for returning to work after staying at home with your child there is no need for you to feel guilty. You should not feel as if you are abandoning or neglecting your child. When you return to work, it is extremely important for you to explain to your child why you are no longer with him or her all the time. This transition can work the best when the entire family understands and cooperates.
Discussing the Situation with Your Family
Before you start working full time, you will need to talk about the situation with your child. It might even be a good idea for you to talk about the transition and your full time job with your spouse before discussing things with your child. You want your spouse to be supportive of your decision because a change in routine of this magnitude is likely going to mean a change in the division of household responsibilities, budgeting, and even leisure time together.
In this day and age, most children have friends whose parents work outside the home, so the likelihood of them understanding and accepting this change with minimal disruption is high. Still, take into account that any change in lifestyle is a big deal for most children, and stay positive and upbeat when discussing what the new routine will look like.
Child Care Decisions
If you plan to work full time, it is important for you to make arrangements for a nanny or a daycare. Take time to choose the best child care provider for your child. There are a lot of different options available to you, and some great advice on this topic is provided at healthychildren.org, such as what to look for in child-staff ratios, visiting policies, and licensing. It might help for you to make a list of the advantages of each option. You should also spend some time making sure that your child gets used to the daycare or nanny before you go back to work. Some working parents have the luxury of a grandparent or other close relative living nearby to watch their child. If you choose this option, be sure to set up clear expectations and boundaries so that nobody ends up feeling taken advantage of.
Advanced Planning
Planning is the most important part of the transition from staying at home with your child to having a full time job. Planning can help you stay organized and balance your family and job equally. For example, you might want to create a schedule that includes household chores, work and spending time with your family.
Preparing lunches and selecting clothes the night before are things that can help make mornings run more smoothly. Devising a weekly meal plan, and making just one large shopping trip a week, makes it easier to prepare healthy meals instead of giving into the temptation to grab some quick take-out after work. Better yet, cook large meals on the weekends that can be easily reheated during the week. Utilize your lunch breaks at work to run quick errands or pay bills on line. Most people aren’t fortunate enough to be able to afford a house cleaner, so if you’re one of them, engage the whole family in helping clean the house and do laundry.
With some advanced planning, a positive attitude, and of course a lot of energy, you can make the transition from being a stay-at-home parent to working parent painless. When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, consider all the perks you will now experience–more money, interaction with new and interesting adults, and new and exciting challenges. Even that dreadful commute so many people complain about can become a mini-retreat; after all, when’s the last time you got to spend any significant amount of time alone with just a cup of coffee, your thoughts, and music for grown-ups?